First, we are not to curse people who have been created in the image of God (James 3:9). It is easy in a situation like yours to do just that. Don’t minimize his destructive behavior. Verbal abuse is a form of non-physical emotional or psychological abuse that can include name calling, threatening, saying embarrassing or belittling things or yelling, says Tina de Benedictis, Ph.D. and colleagues for the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress. Keep in mind, however, that this often does not solve the problem. Second, emotional abuse violates the two greatest commandments: love God and love others as yourself (Matthew 22:35-40). One person in particular leads the singing. The warning signs can be ambiguous and subtle, making the process of identifying verbal abuse harder. Sometimes a harsh and insensitive attitude shields a person who himself has been wounded by the remarks of others. Side note — The BEST resource I’ve found for figuring out how to deal with toxic family members Biblically is the book “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. We’re so sorry for your pain. Proverbs warns, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). An abusive husband disobeys Christ. Many would argue that the wife’s submission contributes to these problems rather than solves them. Like a mother who wakes at the sound of her child, God hears the cries of the oppressed. Verbal abuse brings consequences “The mouths of fools are their undoing, and their lips are a snare to their very lives” (Proverbs 18:7). Another reason you might not ask for help is because you are experiencing something shameful. You need help because you care about your spouse. There is no one chapter of the Bible dedicated to abuse. You need help, and God’s hands and feet often are the friends He raises up to help you. One is that you don’t know exactly what kind of help you need. I’ve never been physically hurt, but the constant verbal and emotional abuse has made my life miserable. Your goal is to tip the scales towards a commitment to love. Even going to someone else and asking for advice and help with your difficult relationship can be an expression of love. Now that’s a pretty carefully crafted definition of a pattern of behavior called verbal abuse or emotional abuse. This website and other related websites are owned and operated by FLTI, dba FamilyLife®, an Arkansas nonprofit corporation. All Rights Reserved. We may not see all of what He is doing, but, make no mistake, He is acting. God’s ears are finely tuned to tears. The Bible doesn’t use the label “emotional abuse,” but it does prohibit it. The violence of verbal abuse can bring painful memories that will follow many people into old age and to the grave. By Are you seeking to follow Him? Verbal abuse and physical abuse result from a worldview that is clearly not biblical. Communication is important in a good marriage, and you and your husband need to learn to share your concerns (as well as your joys) with each other. He was the innocent victim of evil people. Bible Verses About Abusive Husbands Bible verses related to Abusive Husbands from the King James Version (KJV) by Relevance - Sort By Book Order . Where can you find a wise friend to guide you? Love gives you the clarity to make difficult decisions on the fly. God doesn’t guarantee the momentary peace and quiet you might be longing for; instead He promises you something much more lasting. Wife abuse is widespread, even, sad to say, among evangelicals. The Spirit will confirm this, and “Blessed are those who have not yet seen and yet have believed” (John 20:29, ESV). This plan should include at least the following things: © Copyright 2010 by the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation. God changes all kinds of people. Proverbs like “reckless words pierce like a sword” will validate your experiences (Proverbs 12:18). The abuse can take many forms: verbal, physical, psychological, sexual, and financial. We used to take sweet counsel together; within God’s house we walked in the throng.” (Psalm 55:4-8; 12-14). Husbands are commanded, “Love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19). The violence of verbal abuse can bring painful memories that will follow many people into old age and to the grave. Some of my friends say I should get a divorce, but others say I should “submit” to my husband and and love him no matter what. Or, he gets angry if she disagrees with him. I'm defending the institution of marriage. Perhaps you are involved in a verbally abusive relationship. Therefore, ask for help. Then I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the countries where I have driven them, and I will bring them back to their fold, and they shall be fruitful and multiply.” (Jeremiah 23:1-3). When you put your hope in a person, you will feel like a life raft let loose on the open sea. As you think about how to keep youself and your children safe, please find someone to discuss this with you and guide you. Succinctly stated, “The tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21). Toll Free: 1-877-247-2426. If you don’t attend a church, find one in your area. Is there anything in the bible that supports Christian women staying with abusive husbands? When you want real hands and feet to help you, the knowledge of God’s presence might seem to provide very little consolation, but don’t let your senses mislead you. She turned her back on her son so she wouldn’t have to watch him die, and they both wept. See my article on “What Does the Bible Say About Abuse?” for more on the subject of emotional abuse. It is also possible that no one even knows your circumstances. 2. I am very concerned about his mental state. You will also be prone to fear, because the other person has the power to give or withhold what you think you need. You probably already believe that God has the power to change anyone. Yes, King David wrote this psalm, but he wrote it on behalf of the perfect King who was to come after him. Your long-term goal should be to know the personal God. There you will find hope and direction. Abusive men and churches justify the wicked and condemn the righteous when they support abusers and condemn victims. The truth is that you are not to blame for the cruel anger of another person. You are witnessing his selfish desires running amok. Even going to act on your behalf United States has domestic abuse hotlines will. 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